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New Heart Habit

August 26, 2009

I’ve never been a pill taker. The longest period of time I ever took a pill was a pregnancy. The pill was a vitamin. That I had five pregancies attests to my aversion to pill taking. I wasn’t so good at birth control pills either. Now, I take a pill or a handful of pills four times a day. I have one of those pill organizers in the bathroom. Some are supplements, pills I hope have some miracle healing ability at best, supplement my diet at least. Most are heart medications.

One keeps my blood from being sticky they say. Hopefully, it prevents a blood clot and heart attack. Aspirin adds to that cause. One pill helps prevent an ulcer form these two. Another slows my heart rate and lowers my blood pressure to lighten the load on my heart. My heart rate is that of a fit jogger and blood pressure so low I’m surprised I don’t faint. This pill also slows my metabolism and is probably part of the reason I’ve gained almost twenty pounds in six months. This has been a great blow to my vanity. I’ve never weighed this much. I’ve always been thin, petite, tiny even. Still another pill lowers my cholesterol. All those numbers are in the normal and even ideal range now, but it has taken the highest dose of two different drugs to achieve this coveted score. I remain on this mega dosage and eat salmon at least twice a week, use on Olive oil and of course, all those supplements. I have a tiny bottle of nitroglycerin. When I feel cardiac symptoms, I put one under my tongue.I was putting a lot of them under my tongue. The latest addition to my pill pile is a form of nitro that is long acting. I started on that one after a couple of days in the hospital a couple of weeks ago. It was a classic case of not realizing how badly I felt until I began to feel better. I hadn’t realized my chest hurt a bit all the time until this wonderful little pill made it stop.

I have a new heart habit. It is a pill habit. I am grateful. This new habit is a small but vital part in my new full time job of staying alive.

I’ve had only a few full time jobs in my life. I’ve been very loyal professionally. I’ve taken care of children. I was a registered nurse. I was a minister. Now, I care for me. I nurse me. I minister to me. It’s a full time job. As for those I love so much, my loving them has to be enough. For them, it is. They really love me, too.

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